Transgender man angry at nurses misgendering him after giving birth

In contemporary society, utilizing an individual’s chosen name and pronouns serves as the most effective means of showing respect and recognition of their identity, regardless of whether they are straight, gay, or transgender.

Nevertheless, not everyone follows this approach, often holding onto antiquated beliefs or neglecting the gender identities of others.

Bennett Kaspar-Williams, aged 37, residing in Los Angeles, welcomed their son Hudson into the world through cesarean section in October 2020, with the assistance of their spouse, Malik.

Although Kaspar-Williams identified as male and employed he/him/his pronouns at that time (they currently identify as non-binary and utilize both he/him/his and they/them pronouns), they faced difficulties at the hospital when nurses consistently misgendered them, referring to them as a mother instead of a father, as reported by the Daily Mail.

Posted by Bennett Kaspar-Williams on Saturday, October 10, 2020

Kaspar-Williams initiated his transition in 2014, having recognized his transgender identity in 2011. The couple decided to start a family and thoughtfully evaluated their options, understanding that this would necessitate Bennett pausing the testosterone therapy he had been undergoing for several years to allow his ovaries to function again.

Despite having undergone top surgery, Bennett had not yet had any procedures on his lower body. After careful consideration, he found comfort in the prospect of carrying a child himself.

Once they commenced their attempts, Bennett naturally became pregnant shortly thereafter.

“We had only been trying for a brief period, so we anticipated that the process would take longer than it did,” Bennett remarked.

Disheartened by medical staff

This occurred approximately one week prior to the lockdown implemented in March 2020, resulting in my previously high spirits being swiftly overshadowed by anxiety regarding the pandemic and concerns about ensuring the safety of both myself and my baby.

The experience of pregnancy and childbirth was both rewarding and demanding for Kaspar-Williams, who felt disheartened by the medical personnel’s assumptions about his gender, which led to him being incorrectly identified as a mother.

“The sole aspect that induced dysphoria during my pregnancy was the misgendering I encountered while receiving medical care related to my pregnancy,” he remarked.

Despite Kaspar-Williams indicating his gender on medical documentation, the nursing staff persisted in misgendering him during their interactions. After the birth of Hudson, Kaspar-Williams has been a proactive advocate for the understanding that childbirth is not inherently linked to gender identity.

Posted by Bennett Kaspar-Williams on Sunday, October 4, 2020

Hard to escape

Expressing his distress regarding the persistent misgendering he experienced during childbirth, Kaspar-Williams emphasized the necessity of separating womanhood from motherhood. He conveyed his views to the New York Post, reflecting on the unease he encountered when repeatedly referred to as “mom” despite indicating “male” on medical documents.

“The process of pregnancy – and indeed, I refer to it as a process, because the entire framework of pregnancy care in America revolves around promoting the notion of ‘motherhood’ – is so deeply connected to gender that it was challenging to avoid being misgendered,” Bennett states.

“No one can truly ascertain whether having children is feasible until they attempt it — being born with a uterus does not guarantee the ability to conceive or carry a child,” the father remarked regarding their journey into parenthood.

“This is why it is crucial to cease defining ‘womanhood’ solely in relation to ‘motherhood,’ as it creates a misleading equivalence suggesting that all women can become mothers, that all mothers bear their children, or that all individuals who bear children are mothers.”

This sweet guy is 3 years old today! Malik Kaspar-Williams and I are so lucky to be his parents. 🫶🏼Posted by Bennett Kaspar-Williams on Thursday, October 26, 2023

Choosing to begin their pregnancy journey after separating bodily functions from gender notions, Kaspar-Williams’ story highlights the complexities of identity and the importance of respecting individuals’ self-identification.

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